I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
