His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize