Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
