I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
