I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Boobs are out for the taking
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
