Porn is love you can see.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
