ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Can i not drive my cunt home
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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