I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
