Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
