I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
