Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We talked him into tasing himself.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
