at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
