If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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