It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
