Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
