see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize