so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
