What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
