u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
