we have officially lost it.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
