I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
