yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Me too!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
