She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
