Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
