please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize