So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
