why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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