38 yer olds are good kisserssss
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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