9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
