that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize