i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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