I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
