you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
