i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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