fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
