have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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