I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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