You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
