Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
