And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
