Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize