So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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