dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
