I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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