Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
