i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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