I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
