I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
false alarm, still single
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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