so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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