there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
