is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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