You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
