Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
