He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
