he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
