PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
and you fell through a lawn chair
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
