it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
