GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
