i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
