she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
