So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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