Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
