so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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