there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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