I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
