I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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