I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
