I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
