Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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