stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize